When people perform extreme acts of harm towards others, or perhaps to themselves, others are always so appalled. Often we will hear, "I had no idea s/he was ..." or "If I had known s/he was struggling I would have ..."
But here is the thing. We all have stuff. We all have worries struggles, battles and wars few if any know about. This is life. All the guts and glory, laughter and tears, joys and sorrows, birth and death is what life is.
How we deal, how I deal, that is what I am. So I am trying to choose to be nice, to be kind. Because as much as my 'stuff' preoccupies me, so does yours preoccupy you. I have a friend who from time to time will reach out and say, essentially, I am having trouble making it through at this moment - can you help me? I do not have sage words, life solutions. But I do have a listening ear, and a caring heart. Even if there are burdens I cannot remove, for a moment I can share the weight.
That is the kind, the loving, the right response.
Even when I am at the point of being overwhelmed by my own "stuff" I can make an effort to be kind in my casual and more intimate interactions with my fellow sojourners. It will not create any additional worry, and it may decrease my own stress as well as that of someone else.