|Home is the white dot in the center|
Several years ago, Roger and I were in a local grocery store standing in line to check out. Directly in front of us was an older gentleman holding a young girl, she looked to be maybe 18 months old. Riotous blonde curls, big blue eyes, rosebud mouth, porcelain complexion. There was a red balloon tied to a shelving support. She wanted that balloon. She had big crocodile tears, puddling up in her eyes, looked as though they would spill down her cheeks at any minute. She had one hand clasped around the man's neck and was reaching out to the balloon with the other. Her little lip was just quivering and she was saying "Boon. Boon". Now he was having none of this, he stoically held his ground and paid for their items and left. Rog and I, well were we the grandparents in that situation would probably have bought her a dozen "boons". I do not think that he was being mean, just firm. Not giving in, you know? Because little girls with crocodile tears welling up in their eyes can really work on a person's heart, as can little boys with pouty mouths and soulful looks. Just a memory I wanted to share.
|Full Strawberry Moon, shaky hands make for cool effects !|
|I was trying to get firefly light, but this turned out pretty good. Taken 06/19/2016|
|View of the Full Strawberry Moon from the road in front of our house. Taken 06/20/2016|
... and magic is afoot ... To my friends on the flipside, Blessed Yule. The fae are said to be out and about tonight about midnight.Here at Little Beaver Creek we are anticipating rain and storms, alas. Entering into this transitional phase of the year, as the wheel continues to turn, is a time to let go and look forward. Many blessings to all this Midsummer's Eve. ( Me ) From 6/20/2015
Happy Solstice, everyone...for us folks in the eastern time zone, the apex of the Solstice is at 7:04 pm tonight. We're in the window for a coupla days on either side of that, so you can utilize this gateway energy to let go of something that doesn't serve you anymore and walk through the threshold into the new life you WANT to live. From 9/20/2013 Licia Berry
Standing outside on break this morning, around 8 AM, looking at the mountains against the beautiful blue sky, and I realized that the mountaintops looked like a heartbeat on a monitor. blip - blip - blip - A Pulse. This Earth is our mother, she shelters and sustains us. We yearn for her comfort, going to mountains and seashores and canyons to relax and reconnect. Right now she hurts. I have a vision of Earth, healed ... and through Love, not hate. A kind word, a helping hand, a heartfelt hug, a smile at a time.
If you have a friend that has always been a friend to you - even when it meant calling you out when you were spouting bullshit;If you have a friend that has known you long and well enough to see the laughter behind your tears and the tears behind your laughter;If you have a friend that you can go weeks, months, even years without talking to and 30 seconds into a conversation it is as though you were just together yesterday;If you have such a friend cherish them -love them -call them -support them -hold on to them tightly.Because when they leave for good,when they are dead and gone and you are still hereIt hurts like hell,and that hurt may hide for weeks or months at a time, but it never ever goes away.Trust me -I know.Waxing nostalgic this hot afternoon, and missing Chuck Goodwin - how I wish I could hear him say "Roberta Ellen!" just one more time.
|This picture is the one that was in the yearbook (annual) my senior year. I even wanted red hair when I was eighteen! We actually had our senior portraits made during summer break of 1976, so this is me 40 years ago.|
|This is a picture of me in my gown - I do not know where the cap is. I believe this was taken at the baccalaureate service.|
If we are not aware of where we have been, and what it took for us to get to this point in our lives, we are missing such an opportunity. I see, hear, and read of so much turmoil ... if one were so minded, it would be so easy to don sackcloth and ashes and bemoan the state of the world, our society, the seemingly insurmountable tasks we perceive are ahead of us. My very wise spouse is fond of asking, when I begin to panic at all of the "what ifs", what were you obsessing about two years ago? Five years ago? You made it, didn't you?
The thing about life is, it keeps on happening. The happy, the sad, the distressing, the uplifting, the mundane, the sublime. They approach, they happen, then they are gone. We are left with memories, lessons, remnants that are like echoes and ripples that carry us on to the next triumph, the next heartache, the next ultimate experience.
When I was 18 years old in 1977 I was so sure of the path I was going to travel. Where I am today is nothing whatsoever like that life I wove in my dreams.
I am glad.
I am glad for each tear, each sleepless night, each leap into the unknown. I would not be the me I am today if I had not known betrayal, and ecstasy. The hunger and want make the feasts all the more special. The estrangements and anger bring appreciation of the loyal and steadfast. Hard lessons learned, some I am still learning.
I occasionally get a glimpse of me as others see me, and the thing that amazes me is this: As unique and different as I may be, you are just as unique and different. As many struggles and doubts as I wrestle with, you have just as many, and they are just as distressing to you. As inconsequential as my public interactions may seem to me, they can have a lasting impact on another life, probably someone I do not even realize was watching, or listening.
I feel assured of this, because people impact and influence me in myriad ways - people I may not even speak with. Sometimes as an onlooker I am astounded at a life lesson that jumps out at me.
I remember so much of what the 18 year-old Ellen thought, and felt, and believed. The 57 year-old me is still that awkward, overconfident, brash teenager - and I am still excited at the path ahead.
Thus concludes this meander through my memory lane, past - present - and most importantly, future.