May the 4th Be With You!

May 4. 

Star Wars day ( May the 4th be with you!)

Occasionally Derby Day.

And is evidenced by the posts on Facebook and on this blog over the past few years, most importantly my sister's birthday.

I do not know what it like to not have a sister, and most of my early childhood memories are entwined with her. We shared a bedroom until she went off to college. We fought, and laughed, and were united and divided in skirmishes with family and neighbors and schoolmates. I resisted the inevitable comparisons in school, because she set the standard by which I was judged, and left expectations of aptitude and skill that were mine to meet or fall short of. 

My mother grew up without a sister, and she used to tell us constantly how blessed we were to have one another. An ally and friend for life, that we would never be alone because we had a sister. My voice sounds like hers, though I do not resemble her as much physically as I do the females on my father's side of the family. 

Of all of the women in my life, next to my mother I am sure she has had the most impact on me through the years. If anything happens to her, or her family, the visceral reaction in the depths of me is had to put into words. I have felt as though I fall short of expectations so many times in life, and that I am not the sister/daughter/wife/friend that others deserve or need. She more than anyone else is capable of providing just the right mixture of compassion and rebuke when interacting with me.

She knows me. 

And I love her. 

Happy Birthday for the 59th time, Sissy. I am glad I have you. 

2014 - from Facebook 

Today is May 4, my only blood sister's birthday. She is 19 months older than me, and as opposite from me as you could ever imagine. I love her, and admire her so much. She does not "do" Facebook, but her two well-reared children, Kyle Hart and Matthew Ryan Hart do, so perhaps they will show her these three pictures. In the first we are preschool age, in the second we are just out of high school, and the third is from just over a year ago.

2013 - From Facebook 

May 4

Derby Day

It was Derby Day in 1957 as well

That is the day my older by 18 months sister, Virginia Carol Smith Hart was born. I love my sister dearly, and am proud of the life she has made, and the sons she has raised. I am also not one bit sorry for tormenting her for the past 50 years or so. That is what sisters do.

And my cousin Richard Gilpin has a birthday today as well

2012 - From Facebook 

Fifty-five years ago today was a Saturday, and the Kentucky Derby was to be run ... how do I know this? Because my sister was born that day. Happy Birthday to my sister by blood, Virginia Carol Smith Hart. You are a good daughter, sister, wife and mother. Have a blessed day! {She is not on Facebook but maybe someone will tell her they saw this!}

2012 (from this blog)

May 4

Today is my sister's birthday. She is 55. Hard to imagine. It seems like only yesterday she was a sophomore in high school and I was putting on her knee-socks and stretching the tops because my calves have always been bigger than hers. I have always been bigger than her, taller, weigh more, talk more too!
We used to fight so bad, as only sisters can. I love her though, cannot imagine life without her in it. She is eighteen months older than I am. When we were small, Mom would get all upset when we argued, say she was so glad when I was a girl because Virginia Carol would not have to grow up without a sister. I understand.
I could not say Carol when I was small, and called her "Caugie" (I know!). Later it became Carr-ey, and I called her that until I was in my teens. Our younger brother always called her Sissy.
She and I were both married (my first, her only) in 1986, the year our father passed away. I always thought we subconsciously waited until after Daddy was gone before we married because he was THE man in our lives up until that point.
Two women could not be more different. She became a school teacher, and taught until she was able to retire from public schools. Now she works for Old Dominion University in their Distance Education program at our local community college. She never smoked or drank, has two exceptionally intelligent and well-mannered sons, and is well-respected in our hometown. She is blonde, and slender. She struggled with weight as did I, she won her battle.
Me? I have quit college, several times. Never held a job longer than 4 years, smoke, drink when the mood hits, have always been heavy.
She has been there for me when I needed her, every time. I have done my best to be here for her. I appreciate and admire the woman she has become.