I posted this on my Facebook Wall earlier in the week:
"So there is this event for which I sent invitations out to everybody on my contacts list. Basically, it is to either wear purple if you are LGBT, orange if you support LGBT on August 1. Personally, I think if you are LGBT and in the closet to any degree it would be understandable to wear the orange... Anyway, I sent out the invitations to everyone on my contacts {friends} list, and I must say it has been quite the education to watch the accepts and declines roll in. To me, supporting the LGBT community is taking a stand against hatred, bigotry and discrimination. I do not see this as an overtly religious or political issue, though some use it for that purpose. Throughout history, various "groups" or segments of the population have been considered "fair game" as far as unequal treatment is concerned. Jews, blacks, women, the mentally and/or physically impaired or disabled, various and sundry ethnic groups. The list goes on and on. If we are honest, the problem of treating one segment of the population as being inferior or less in some way while elevating one's own is rampant worldwide. In the rawest form, it is about power. I am naive, you see, because I honestly thought people were evolved and educated enough in this day and time to see what a fruitless and self-destructive exercise participating in any sort of hatred, bigotry or discrimination is to the human race as a whole. Sadly, I am wrong, at least as far as the "friends" I have on Facebook are concerned. To date my naivete is losing the poll, because the declines exceed the accepts/maybes. That is all. It makes me sad."
I started to say I am not writing this blog post as an explanation, but that is not a truly accurate statement. This is an explanation of sorts, a bit of back story, some personal history. A tale of how I arrived where I am today as far as the issue of gay marriage is concerned.
I can remember participating in the laughter and jokes as a child. The school yard talk of "homos" and "queers". I am not really sure how old I was when I reached a true understanding of the meaning behind those terms. I do know I equated the slang names as being similar to the names used in a derogatory manner towards the other "groups" I reference in my Facebook post ...
Jews, blacks, women, the mentally and/or physically impaired or disabled, various and sundry ethnic groups. I remember the curiosity I held in regards to what being a homosexual entailed, and hearing the whispers about a female phys-ed teacher, the thinly veiled slurs directed towards a local department store owner.
Then I met Chuck. Chuck and I struck up a friendship based on a shared problem - we were both chubby teenagers. At least I think that is what the first impetus was. That was all so long ago. I did not really have a boyfriend in school, though a great many of my friends were boys. I was more prone to stay a part of group activities, and though the group was fluid, he was often part of it. There were several guys, and a couple of girls, about whom there were rumors as to their sexuality. Chuck was one of those.
Soon after I met Chuck, I met 3 other guys - I will not *out* anyone, so they shall be A, B, and C who were victims of the same rumor mill. I had a rather verbal exchange with my mother at one point about the things that were said, because I overheard her discussing A with someone on the telephone. I can still remember asking her how she thought it would feel to be judged and convicted of being less that equal to others based on who you are, not on your contributions or abilities, but who you are. I was maybe 17. A, B, C and Chuck all went to great lengths to mask their sexual orientation. It was the 1970's, and we lived in a small town in rural Virginia. I imagine they had no choice.
A 'came out' to me the summer we graduated, the first of several friends to do so. B, C, Chuck, and others followed. I already loved these people and assimilated this aspect of their lives into that love. I listened to their tales, they cried on my shoulder at times, I worried about them.
All of this was not easy for me, but I do not doubt it was much harder for them. Chuck was special, had he been straight we would have probably tried to make a life together. He and the others all settled in larger cities, and I lost touch with all but him for years.
Because I knew and loved these wonderful people, as I set out upon the series of adventures and misadventures that comprise my life, I have been able to be more accepting and understanding of people. I have worked with and for people in the LGBT community, I have been amazed at their courage, and wept for them. I have seen that they are no different than you or I.
I stand by my original statement that it is my opinion that supporting the LGBT community is taking a stand against hatred, bigotry and discrimination. I do not see this as an overtly religious or political issue, though some use it for that purpose. Throughout history, various "groups" or segments of the population have been considered "fair game" as far as unequal treatment is concerned. Jews, blacks, women, the mentally and/or physically impaired or disabled. various and sundry ethnic groups. The list goes on and on. If we are honest, the problem of treating one segment of the population as being inferior or less in some way while elevating one's own is rampant worldwide. In the rawest form, it is about power.
I am slightly bemused, and not a little bit pissed, to have been the target of backlash since my statement of support. Apparently, I have been calling people racists and bigots. That was not my intent, and I did not realize supporting friends and loved ones would generate such a reaction. My first inclination was to engage, and I did a bit of that. Then I remembered my Daddy telling me not to stomp on fresh cow shit because then it would get on me as well. So I am trying to be nice.
This is personal to me. I have friends who are gay, and I love them. Several are in long term monogamous relationships. They own property, they hold down jobs, they vote, they buy American when they can, they are good people. But they cannot eat in public as a couple without being pointed at, talked about and at times "witnessed" to.
I want to understand how people can unilaterally deem a segment of the population that contains individuals of all religions, ethnic identities, social and economic classes, political affiliations and professions not deserving of the same rights as the rest of the citizenry. It still escapes me.
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