30 days of thankfulness. Day 5.

Not easy to do. Sometimes that rain is cold, and stings like needles. 

Every moment. Enjoy? Maybe not enjoy, but find a reason for thankfulness - I think I can do that. There is a C/W song that has a line, I thank God for unanswered prayers. Thankfulness is like that sometimes. Being thankful not for the thing that happened, but that the other thing that would have been worse didn't happen.

So today I decided no made myself no - made an agreement with myself I was going to do some cleanup and throwout in the kitchen. Pre-holiday work, so if I decide to bake or cook something special I know the ingredients I need will be fresh and available. My reward would be a home-cooked country meal of Collard Greens, Boiled Potatoes, and Cornbread. But if I did not complete all of the tasks I started, I would have to eat what I call a fast and dirty meal. Like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or a bowl of soup with saltines. 

I have these bins for dry goods, things like pasta or beans, that have silicone seals on the clip-on lids. They are made by Lock&Lock. Anyway, I had left the lid on one and filled it with hot soapy water. It was sitting tipped to the back, and I unsnapped the tabs that hold it closed. Hot soapy water exploded in a wave out of the sink and onto the floor. I turned it so the water was going into and not out of the sink basin as quickly as I could, then mopped up the water with a towel.

I am thankful that only a few cups of water hit the floor rather than about 12 cups, which is the listed capacity of that particular storage bin. I am not thankful that I spilled water, but very thankful it was not worse. 

I did not enjoy the mishap, but was thankful that it was not worse. 

So today I guess I am thankful that I can find a bit of enjoyment in most situations. Like the floor in front of the kitchen sink getting an extra little wash today.

And I am thankful for my reward. 

30 days of thankfulness. Day 4.

Winnie the Pooh 

Alice in Wonderland 

The Secret Garden 

The Velveteen Rabbit 

The Chronicles of Narnia

All books and stories that started me on a lifelong love affair with reading. Even now, when life is too brightly and abrasively life, books are my refuge. 

My taste in reading material runs the gamut from philosophy and religion to fantasy and romance. I have not read all the great works of literature, but I have read more than a few.

And poetry. Exquisite and enthralling. I used to memorize poems as a child, and sit and read them aloud. The words, the tales and emotions, came to life for me when spoken. Larger and more brilliant than when printed on the page, they seemed to become imbued with a part of me as the words leap from the page and fell from my lips. 

First true story: I used to hide paperback novels in the cabinet in the bathroom, under the washcloths, and read while bathing, oblivious to the pounding on the door and the entreaties to "hurry up!".

Second true story: I once twisted an ankle and skinned both knees when I was walking down the sidewalk whilst reading and fell off the curb.

Third true story: I pled, "Just let me finish this chapter", so many times that my mother swore that if the house were on fire I would never make it out alive because I could not bring myself to put down a book that was unfinished. 

Final true story: I have a primal abhorrence to giving away, trading, or selling hardcover books. As a result, there are cases and boxes and stacks of books in every room of the house except the bathroom. 

Today, I am thankful for the written word, for the myriad things I have learned from reading, for the comfort and inspiration I know I can always find on the printed page.

30 days of thankfulness. Day 3.

This is a picture of Queen Smokie. She is one of our two indoor cats. I am going to tell you her story today. 

Ever since we moved here in 2002 there have been cats, cats outside and on one or two occasions, inside cats. We always name them, and feed them. Many of them are never even tame enough to pet. They are beneficial in keeping the mice and snake and mole populations under control, plus - well, we like cats. 

Several years ago, in July, 2009, Roger went to the dump and after putting our garbage in the dumpster he was picking up trash that was littering the gravel area around the dumpsters. There was a plastic Walmart bag, and when he picked it up it moved. Inside was a very young, very dirty, very weak, solid black kitten. 

He brought her home.

All of my life I have heard that people are especially cruel to black cats, that they are seen as being evil. Familiars of witches. Bad luck. This was the first time I had seen such cruelty in action. It sickened me.

I went to town and bought cat stuff. And we named her Smokie.

She has become such an important part of our lives. She "talks" to us. She sleeps on us on occasion. She sits on the corner of the Baker's Rack in the kitchen and pats my ass while I am cooking. She fights with the calico Mabon. Then they groom one another and curl up and look like Yin and Yang. 

I buy her fluffy towels to sleep on. She really likes fluffy soft towels that smell of lavender. We give her and Mabon boxes to sit in, and laugh when they sit and stare out the windows at the birds and make funny sounds. She hides when it thunders, and walks over and around you dozens of times before settling in at the foot of the bed. She despises too much stuff on a tabletop in the living room and will nonchalantly push off offending items. 

I am so thankful that she has decided we make good people for her. She adds a dimension of joy to my life that is hard to explain, even when she totally pisses me off when she sits on the mattress pad and won't let me make the bed.

I am thankful for the cats in my life because they help give me purpose and in return I can give them love and security in a world where they have been rejected and, in Smokie's case, tossed away like garbage. 

30 days of thankfulness. Day 2.

On the days I work I have to be there by 5am. It takes me about 20 minutes to drive to work, so in order to be dressed and cognizant enough to drive I get up at 3am. After 15 months of this schedule, I wake up early, even on my days off, usually before the wakeup call I have set up on our voicemail. 

I used to try to go back to sleep on the mornings I do not go to work, but have discovered to my dismay that somehow over the years my ability to sleep for hours on end has eroded to the point that I feel worse after additional sleep rather than better. Go figure. 

Today is a day off, and I woke up at 2:58am right on schedule. Wednesday is the day the weekly 'sales' start at the grocery store, so I went to the website and looked at the weekly ads. Food City utilizes loyalty cards and also has coupons on their website that you can load onto your Value-card. I browsed the coupons, and the weekly as, then made my grocery list. As most of my readers know, I work at Wal-Mart. As an employee, one of my benefits is a discount on certain items. So strategy must be employed. First, I write down the paper coupons I have for the items that I need as well the coupons I have loaded onto my Value-card. Second, I make a mark beside the items on my list that would be eligible for my employee discount. Third, I try to remember the everyday price on items at Wal-Mart, and decide which is a better value. Ad-matching negates the employee discount, so I have to keep that in mind as well. Fourth, I mark beside each item with either a "W" or "FC", as well as a "c" if I have a paper coupon to use. Fifth, I notate the specifics of the items I choose from the weekly ads (such as size, variety, and price). 

All of this takes me around an hour, but it is time well spent. Today's shopping trip was important because with Thanksgiving being just three weeks away, I wanted to buy most - if not all - of the food for our Thanksgiving Dinner. 

We do not eat fancy, and I do not make homemade items as much as I would like, but even with just the two of us I feel it is important to make a special effort on holidays and special occasions. I planned the menu very carefully based on our likes and within our food budget. Buying the food early allowed me to take advantage of some special values, and not be stressed trying to shop for groceries just one or two days before the holiday. The only things I did not buy were heavy cream for a dessert I am making and sweet potatoes. I am still on the fence about the preparation I will choose for the sweet potatoes, so I am not sure if I will be needing fresh or canned. 

Today I am thankful for being just OCD enough (and I do not mean to belittle anyone who suffers from OCD or trivialize the condition) to be able to spend our food dollars efficiently. We do not get extra dollars for special meals, so the heavy cream I would not normally buy means that the $1.50 coupon on trashbags enables me to stay within our means just a little bit more. 

30 days of thankfulness. Day 1.

via the Facebook timeline of Bridget Williamson Burks

There is a natural flow to the year for me. I know that not everyone lives in a climate where the seasons are so well defined, but here in my beloved Appalachian Mountains of SW Virginia, you can truly feel the changing of seasons without ever looking at a calendar. Now, I would say that this is my favorite time of the year but that is not necessarily true. Actually, I think my favorite time of the year is now. So it changes constantly, just as life does. 

November brings times of reflection to many, and the US as a whole celebrates two significant observances of gratitude - Veterans Day on 11/11, every year, and Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of the month. I like to think I am thankful all the time, though in all honesty I am more than likely not. 

So for this personal challenge I inflict on those who read this blog, for the month of November I am going to try to not just spout the usual litany of things I am thankful for but deliberately search out something every day, share it here (the posts will more than likely come at the end of the day for the most part) and then examine how, and if, I was able to express my gratitude. There may or may not be pictures to accompany the posts.

I was out of work from late October of 2010 until March of 2014. Today I was reminded once again of how difficult it was to be unemployed for such a long time. I do not always have fun at work, and there are days I hurt. I do try to give my best, and not take advantage of breaks or co-workers. I do this because I know that it is not a right but a privilege that someone thinks enough of my skill or knowledge to compensate me for my time. In many ways, I truly believe that diligence at work is an expression of gratitude for having the opportunity to earn a paycheck. 

31 days to a kinder me. Day 31.

Well, today is the day. Day 31 of 31 days to a kinder me. The Dalai Lama sums up the truth of this quest so well. It is always possible to be kind. I notice he did not say easy, because - it isn't. It should be, I suppose, in a Utopian existence where the temperature is always 74f, the rains are always gentle and warm, the perfume of exotic blooms infuse the air with natural aromatherapy, and laughter and rest are the rule of the day.

That isn't life, though.

Life is tough. Painful. Tiring. All my best intentions evaporate like the briefest of showers on the hottest of days the instant I interact with someone who's had their Cornflakes pissed upon and decide it must have been my fault. 

I saw a meme the other day of little known punctuation marks and one of them was the 'snark mark' - {.~}. The thought crossed my mind then decided to stay awhile that I would use such a mark more than a little bit were it one keystroke on my laptop. Because snark, or sarcasm, is my natural reaction in interacting with most people. Thus my foray into the world of kindness this month. 

I am not by nature patient, kind, long suffering, forgiving - I do not innately possess any graces. When I pause in thoughtful contemplation while interacting with someone, chances are pretty good I am trying to decide on the least offensive way to say what I really, really want to say. I will give myself credit for most of the time dissuading the inner snark and smite from gushing forth. However, I am all too aware of the urges that are not edifying of humankind that roil about in my mind. 

We need a kinder world. We have a world at crisis, socially and environmentally. More than a small amount of Tender Loving Care is desperately needed - and sooner rather than later. Because here and now and this and us is all we have. 

So I entreat any reading this, even as I urge myself, to follow the simply profound words of the Dalai Lama and be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. 

31 days to a kinder me. Day 30.

We tend to get all caught up in the "right" game, or at least I do. Pontificating and postulating, expounding and exhorting. People love to tell others what to do and how to do and when to do. We are all experts on how others should think, eat, dress, vote, procreate, talk, think ---- live. Nevermind that our own lives are less than perfect, that our families are a mess and our finances are in a shambles. We have experience. We have knowledge. We have the benefit of being on the outside looking in. 

All the while that soul on the receiving end only needs to be heard. To be attended to with care and grace and gentleness. They know we cannot fix their problems, heal their wounds. They only crave a soul connection, a respite from their trials to regroup and recoup and rekindle their hope and stamina. They only need kindness. I know I do. I only want that sympathetic, empathetic attention to shore me up and help propel me forward. 

Kindness costs nothing and delivers much. Opinions are as plentiful as people willing to give them. 

Be kind. That is all. Be kind.